Hi Harlan, I am an 86-years-young woman. I read your column in the St. Paul Pioneer Press in order to stay in tune with what young people think these days. Your advice on “Love is about what you have to give, not what you want to get” was wonderful. Bravo! I know that the only love we keep is the love we give away. Keep up the great work! – Mimi
Dear Mimi, You are a wise woman. Thank you. I do love this advice about love. See, for most of my life, love was about receiving. It was about filling a hole. I never felt like I was enough for most of my teen years. I was overweight, short and had big ears (I’m still short with big ears). Girls didn’t love me. I had friends, but rarely felt popular enough. During my senior year in high school, something changed. I fell in love. While I barely liked myself, I found someone who loved me. It was the best feeling in my life. But then it ended. I lost love. I lost the feeling. I was devastated. Everything I had been receiving stopped. And the empty feeling was back. Years later, I learned to love myself. This is when I learned that love isn’t about filling holes. It’s about sharing a feeling. It was sharing the love I had for myself with someone who I could trust with it. I learned that people who share their love out of abundance and security can love each other forever. People who share their love out of fear and scarcity never can be loved enough.