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Mom Worries Moving Will Disrupt College Student’s First Year

Dear Harlan: Our son is a freshman at our local community college and is planning on transferring for his sophomore year, fall 2020. We’re good with that and share the excitement of him spreading his wings. My problem is that my husband is taking this as his cue for us to sell our home and beat it out of this state. He’s looking at retiring soon and he’s ready to go! At first I was OK with it, but the more I sit with it, the more discomfort I feel because we will be taking away our son’s home base. I probably spend too much time worrying about where he’ll go for long weekends or holidays, assuming he will want to come home occasionally. I feel like a move at this time will be disruptive and unsettling to him. I say wait a year and make the move in 2021, but that doesn’t sit well with my husband. He imagines he will end up like George Bailey, never leaving Bedford Falls! I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.

— Relocating

Dear Relocating:  Home base will be wherever you and your husband live. Just make sure he has a bedroom and isn’t sleeping on your husband’s new work table. There’s a lot of change happening in your life. Are you sure you’re the one who doesn’t want to move? Your life is going to be uprooted and your son won’t be there. It might be too much change for you. Make sure you’re excited about the move and have a plan for what you’ll do once you get there. The better you take care of yourself, the easier it will be for everyone on this journey. Spend less time worrying about your son and more time making sure you’re prepared for the changes ahead.

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