Dear Harlan, Body image isn’t something that only affects girls – it affects guys, too. If you’re not a guy who’s tall with a six-pack and 8-inch biceps, girls aren’t into you. I’ve tried to change my body to fit this image but I just can’t get it, and it seems like without it no girl will want me. How do I accept that standard when I don’t have any of that? – Soft
Dear Soft, I’m no Disney character, either. Trust me, let the ladies date the muscle men with the six-packs and the 18-inch biceps. They need to get it out of their systems. When they are done with them, they will come knocking on your door. A lot of these guys can’t compete with us short, funny, smart and softer men. Muscles get old. Women like to laugh. Smiling wins. They like men who are driven, passionate, and work hard. And really, most women don’t want to date a perfect looking man — makes them feel imperfect and never good enough. I know. I’m 5-foot-6, have ears that protrude and I have a one-pack (but it’s getting firmer). I’ve met a lot of women who never wanted to date me because I was too short, too soft and had ears that stuck out. But that was their loss. For some reason, I always knew it. In fact, history proves it. There’s evidence that while the alpha males were out hunting, the other men (less-muscular) would canoodle with the women. There are billions of women on the planet. Browse any dating site and you’ll see that. Personally, I’ve always preferred mature women who knew my value. Stop beating yourself up. Once you believe you’re good enough – YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH (sorry to shout) these women will see it. For now, appreciate the ones who see your best qualities. An awesome sense of humor, a great job, and a passion for life can be even more attractive and fulfilling than hot, hard, and ripped.