Dear Harlan: I went on a date with a friend I’ve known for a while. We had a great time. He told me he wanted to move slowly because he’s been hurt in the past. The next night, we went on another date. He asked me if I wanted to have sex. I told him no. I explained that I didn’t want to make the mistake of moving too fast. Now he’s not talking to me. I’m so confused. One day he tells me he wants to move slowly, but the next day he wants to have sex with me. Can you help me out? – Mixed Messages
Dear Mixed Messages: Sex on a second date is moving slowly for this dude. Or he just got turned on, turned down, and embarrassed. If he can’t handle NO, he’s not ready for YES. If you’re still interested in dating him, help him fix his horny mistake. Approach him face to face (no texting). Tell him something like, “I really enjoyed our date, but going slow is important to me.” Ask him if he’s honestly OK slowing down. Feel free to ask him to clarify the mixed messages. See how he responds. If he listens to you, respects you and slows it down, there could be a future here. Otherwise, friendzone it or end it.
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