Dear Harlan, I’m waiting to have sex until marriage. It’s something I’m committed to doing. I’m in my early 20s and recently started dating a guy I see a future with. When is the appropriate time to bring this up to a significant other? We just started dating, and I want to know the best time and way to bring it up. I don’t want to scare someone away. It’s happened in the past. Also, how should I do it? Help! – Waiting
Dear Waiting, You can bring it up on your wedding night. Then he can wait until after dinner. Or you can bring it up sooner. No matter when or where you bring it up — the bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal he will make of it. A lot of men want to be with a virgin. And a lot of non-virgins can find a virgin attractive. You will always think he’s good in bed (because you don’t know any different). Assuming you’re not a prude or an asexual virgin who lacks passion, you can be a proud virgin who has no trouble sharing the truth. Have fun with it. Be creative and passionate while sharing it. You can write it on your body and share it at the right moment. You can spell it with your tongue. Someone who loves you, respects you and wants to have sex with you in the future will stick around. The timing depends on the type of relationship. Drunk or naked is never good. Comfortable and safe is best. Make sure you share it with comfort and confidence. Explain your boundaries and emphasize what you are comfortable doing. When he tells you he’s a virgin too, don’t fall out of your chair. Just give him a kiss.