Hey Harlan: I’m an 18-year-old female going off to college in the fall, and I’m really looking forward to having more freedom. I want to get into the party scene, but I’m going to a largely commuter school that’s not known for partying. However, there’s another school about 20 minutes down the road that’s pretty well-known for being a party school. If I were to go to this other school on a Friday night, what would be the likelihood of me getting into one of their parties? And would it be weird for someone from another school to go to a party at this school? – Partier
Dear Partier: I wouldn’t get in. I’m married, hairy and I’m a man. College men who host parties don’t open doors for married, older, hairy men (unless they have a badge). They do open doors for young, single, attractive, uninhibited, and eager women looking to party. Yes, you’ll get into plenty of parties, and no, it’s not going to be weird. But you’re WAY too eager. Scares me. Did you know? College freshmen and sophomores are the most at risk of being sexually assaulted. You may be a target – especially at parties where alcohol is served. If you do to go partying with friends, make sure you live by the rule — everyone who arrives together leaves together.