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Virgin needs help dealing with pressure to lose it

Close Up Of Beautiful Shy Woman Smiling At Her LoverDear Harlan: I’m 19 and have not had sex yet. Everyone expects you to have sex when you’re dating someone while in college. How do you deal with the pressure if you’re in a relationship and don’t want to have sex? – Virgin

Dear Virgin: Who is “everyone”? The horny guy you’re dating? Being a virgin can be very hot.  You can be sexual without having sex, intimate without losing your virginity and passionate without penetration. Set boundaries. Be proud of your virginity. Make it clear that anyone who dates you must respect boundaries. Be honest about what sex means to you and when you’ll be comfortable having it. In the same breath, make sure you emphasize that you’re sexual – you’re just waiting to have sex until it’s the right time for you. There are a lot of partners who will be happy to wait for you – it’s just that most of them don’t understand that waiting to have sex can also mean being intimate, passionate and sexual.

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  1. Marianne

    My daughter is 19 and a virgin AND has been dating someone for a year and a half. He brings up sex all the time. She simply says she’s not ready. I told her that intercourse is an adult act with adult consequences. Your first time only happens once and is a gift and should be shared only when you are 100% comfortable with all it entails. Too many kids are too eager to give it all away and many are left regretting it and feel more empty and alone afterwards.

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