Dear Harlan: I’m 19 and have not had sex yet. Everyone expects you to have sex when you’re dating someone while in college. How do you deal with the pressure if you’re in a relationship and don’t want to have sex? – Virgin
Dear Virgin: Who is “everyone”? The horny guy you’re dating? Being a virgin can be very hot. You can be sexual without having sex, intimate without losing your virginity and passionate without penetration. Set boundaries. Be proud of your virginity. Make it clear that anyone who dates you must respect boundaries. Be honest about what sex means to you and when you’ll be comfortable having it. In the same breath, make sure you emphasize that you’re sexual – you’re just waiting to have sex until it’s the right time for you. There are a lot of partners who will be happy to wait for you – it’s just that most of them don’t understand that waiting to have sex can also mean being intimate, passionate and sexual.