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Calling Girlfriend Fat is Ugly

Irked GirlfriendHello Harlan,

I have a boyfriend who is always saying I am fat, overweight and not as beautiful as I was when I was younger. Naturally, I go into the bathroom to change into a big shirt to cover myself. I’m only two or three sizes bigger than when I was in high school (35 years ago). I feel I am not bad looking – maybe a little heavy, but not fat (140 lbs.). How do I handle this guy? What can I do or say to put him in his place, so he’ll never put me or anyone else down again?

Patiently Waiting

Hello Patiently Waiting,

The only place you should put him is in a room by himself.  I’ve got news for you – he’s not going to stop. He enjoys calling you names. This is what emotionally abusive partners do. It’s what he knows. Forget trying to fix him. He’s broken.  Take your beautiful body and head for the door. Don’t make one more excuses for him. Calling you names, insulting you and tearing you down is NOT loving. This man wants you to believe that no one else will want you. He wants you to feel fat, ugly, and unattractive. Get away, repair your self-esteem, and let friends and family love and support you. There are countless men who won’t encourage you to cover up and hide your body. Forget running to the bathroom – run to the door. As for changing him, don’t bother. He’ll just manipulate, abuse and waste your precious time. He’s lost the privilege of being in your life. Move on.

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