Dear Harlan: My roommate is having sex with a different guy every other night in our room. What can I do to make this stop?- Disgusted Roomie
Dear Disgusted: Being disgusted won’t stop the sex. This is about craving attention and connection. It happens. She thinks sex will give her an instant connection. She’s right — for a minute (or less, depending on the guy). But it won’t last as long as the reputation, regret, and possible itching and burning. Come at this from a place of compassion. She is desperately in need of a relationship that won’t end in judgment, guilt, and shame. Find out what’s happening in her life. Ask her how she’s feeling. Attempt to be friendly. See if being kind will help her show you the side she doesn’t let anyone see. And if having all these men in your room makes you uncomfortable, explain that being sexiled seven days a week is too much. Ask her to move her sex outside your room (but hopefully, not right in front of the door).
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