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Ex Hooks Up with Friend

Dear Harlan: I broke up with my girlfriend, and a month later she hooked up with my friend on his boat. Next thing I know, she reached out to be friends with me without realizing I know that she hooked up with my friend. Not sure what I should do, but I’m very upset with her. Should I bring this up to her?

— Stranded

Dear Regrets:  You broke up with her. When you break up with someone, you don’t get to give input and offer advice when it comes to who she hooks up with or not. It’s up to her. A lot of people will date their ex’s friends. It’s not a surprise that this happened. From where I’m sitting, she did nothing wrong. She was single. She knew this friend from hanging out. She likes boats. And she decided she wants to be with this guy. Could this be upsetting for you? Do you have a right to feel what you feel? Can this make it hard for you to still be friends with her? The answer is yes. But this isn’t about her, it’s about you. If you aren’t comfortable being friends with her, don’t be friends. But you can’t tell her who she can or can’t hook up with.

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