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To Coed or Not Coed?

Dear Harlan: My daughter is going to college in the fall. She wants to live in a dorm that is coed. When I say “coed,” I mean that there are men on the same floor. This makes me extremely uncomfortable. My husband and I are insisting she live in an all-female residence. My daughter is up in arms with us because this isn’t the coolest or the most desirable place to live. She wants to be where the most exciting things happen. She’ll have it no other way. We have told her that if she doesn’t live in an all-female residence hall, we will not support her in college. We are at a standstill. Am I missing something?

— Second Thoughts

Dear Second Thoughts:  Colleges and universities do not want to put your daughter in dangerous situations. They want her to be safe, comfortable and secure. They want her to get an education and graduate. While I know you’re looking to protect her, I’m not sure what you’re protecting her from. From what I’ve seen on campus – and I’ve seen a lot – students who live on coed floors create a bond. The men often play the role of protectors, not predators. There are strong friendships that form. If you’re worried about coed floors, contact the director of residence life and share your specific concerns. Talk to campus safety, too. Once you get the real story, you might realize that this has less to do about coed floors and more to do with losing control.

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