Dear Harlan: I walked in on my roommate with someone on two separate occasions. The first time, I asked her to let me know if he was in the room. The second time, I saw things that make my eyes burn. I’d have rather looked at the eclipse without glasses. How do you suggest I communicate this to get the results I desire?? — Eyewitness
Dear Eyewitness: Your roommate doesn’t care or is too drunk to care. This means you are going to have to be prepared to live with someone who doesn’t care. Get used to a new normal. Next time you are alone with her (and sober), have an honest conversation. Tell her you know you can’t stop her, but wanted to figure out a way to not walk in on her. Come up with a few ideas. Ask her for suggestions. Maybe she can text you, post a note outside the room or hang a “do not disturb” sign. If she doesn’t want to help you or is too drunk to remember, here’s what to do the next time it happens: Walk in, do what you’ve got to do and go about your business. She won’t even realize you’re in the room. Do this until you can find a new room or new roommate.
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