Dear Harlan: In high school, I never really talked to boys or dated them, and I know in college guys have a lot of expectations for girls. How can I keep away from those expectations without being a prude about it? — Uneasy Expectations
Dear Uneasy: The only expectations are the ones you create. Guys will either meet you where you’re comfortable, or not. But give them a chance. You’ll be surprised to learn that a lot of men respect women who set clear boundaries and share what they want. You just need to tell them. The biggest problem is that everyone is so busy assuming that very few people are actually communicating. It’s just easier to assume. Making sweeping generalizations is an easy excuse to avoid dating. If you assume all men want something that you can’t give them, you can avoid all men. It’s easier to blame and assume than to share the truth. Practice. Then get back to me.
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