Dear Harlan: I’m tired of being disappointed and hurt. Will waiting to have sex during the beginning of a relationship really keep him interested? Or has he already decided if he wants to date me before we get to the bedroom? Help me understand men! – Withholding
Dear Withholding: Waiting will reveal the truth. That’s why it’s so hard for so many people to wait. They hate the truth. Some men want to love you, some men to use you and some don’t know what they want. Make this about you. How long do you think you should wait to know what a man wants? Why has it been so hard for you to wait? Clearly, you need to wait longer. And really, you don’t have to wait to be sensual, sexual and physical. You can be intimate without having sex. You can start with kissing. You can move onto touching. Then you can move on to whatever is comfortable (you don’t have to get naked). Telling a man “no” and setting boundaries tells you everything you need to know. If he doesn’t listen, pressures you, threatens you, gives you an ultimatum or sleeps with your best friend, he cares more about sex than getting to know you.
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