Dear Harlan: I’m overweight and in college. I can relate to your struggles with weight and approaching women. I really don’t know how to talk to girls or even approach them. I feel like they would reject me right away, or laugh in my face. I’ve never felt like any girl would be interested in me. – Heavy
Dear Heavy: Do you like being overweight? I absolutely hated it. I felt awful. I was so painfully scared of being vulnerable when I was heavy because I knew how easily I could be hurt. And I’ve worked for the past 20 years to never feel that way again. Every single day, I log my calories so that I can manage my weight. Every week, I work out at least three days to make sure my brain feels as good as possible. I’ve figured out why food is my emotional crutch when I’m stressed. I’ve worked to change the things I don’t love about myself for one reason — so I can love myself. It’s not about other people. It’s about me loving me. I figured it out — when I love myself, I can give people permission to love me or not love me. When I love myself, I can talk to people. And I’m much more lovable. The fear you have will go away when you work to be your best. If that means losing weight for you, start there. Explore your relationship with food and the emotions tied to eating. If you can’t lose weight because of a medical condition, then trust that women will love you for all of your other amazing qualities. Appreciate that women who don’t want you are missing out. Lots of women will want to love you. But it all starts with you loving yourself.
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