Dear Harlan: Is it immature of me to unfriend an ex on Facebook? We said we’d be friends, and I know that a lot of couples who break up say that to each other, but I don’t know if it’s something that could ever work. The breakup didn’t happen because of anything terrible either of us did. We both just had different views on life and couldn’t figure out a way to work it out. I still love him, but if he doesn’t feel the same way, I have to accept that. So I’m really trying to get over it, and I feel like unfriending him would be one more step to deleting his existence. What do you think? I don’t want to be mean or immature. — Unfriendly
Dear Unfriendly: Do you really need to see selfies of your ex kissing his new girlfriend in front of a Ferris wheel? Vomit. It’s not mean or immature. It’s called taking care of you. That’s mature and kind. Removing him from your Facebook feed will mean no longer getting that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach every time you see a status update with his name on it. It will mean spending less time checking up on him, looking through his pictures, and reading his wall. It will mean spending less time and energy on him and more on other deserving men. If you don’t want to unfriend him, you can hide his status and restrict his access to your sensitive info. But I wouldn’t worry about being mean or immature. Be kind to you and do whatever helps you to move on and find balance.
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