Dear Harlan: I have never been kissed, or even been on a date. Never. I am 19 years old, and ever since high school, guys have never wanted to date me. I get those random guys who will ask for my number, but then only want to sext me (gross), and then when I tell those guys I am not into sexting, they never speak to me again. So, there are no dates and no kisses – and I am feeling depressed. Is there anything I can do to make myself seem more dateable? – Undateable
Dear Undateable: You’re extremely kissable and very dateable. You’re just way too guarded and self-loathing. It’s making it too hard for guys to date you. Here’s an experiment to make you more dateable — open up. Initiate conversations with men who you find interesting. Make it clear that you find them attractive. Make it clear that you’re interested in spending time with them. Make it safe for them to approach you. Does this make you nervous? GOOD! If you can’t do it, look in the mirror and start working on you. Commit to changing what you don’t love, and work to tolerate what you can’t change. And find a good therapist that you can talk to on a regular basis. Once you do the work, you’ll find that you’re more comfortable, confident and dateable.