Dear Harlan: I’ve been spending time with a girl, and it feels completely comfortable. I feel that she is meant for me and I’m meant for her. The problem is that she is pregnant, but not with my child. Right now we are friends, but I want to be more. She isn’t with the baby’s father anymore. What can or should I do? – Love Trouble
Dear Love Trouble: I’ve never dated a single pregnant woman, but I’ve hung out with a married one (my wife). I can tell you from professional experience – pregnant women get tired, emotional, uncomfortable, miserable (at times), scared, and vulnerable. I wouldn’t want to date a pregnant woman – especially one carrying another man’s baby. I’d be friends with her, be there for her, get to know her, understand her relationship with her baby’s father, and see if I still want to date her once she has the baby. But you might like instability and uncertainty. You might like being the hero who can rescue her. But also keep in mind, while her baby’s father isn’t in the picture today, he might pop in later after she has the baby. Becoming intertwined in her life at such an unpredictable and unstable moment in her life is a lot for any man to handle. My suggestion is to be a close friend and see where she is emotionally once the baby is born. If you do decide to date her, anticipate that your lives will soon be turned upside down.