Dear Harlan: I am in a long-distance relationship that I didn’t know I was going to be in. I started dating this girl second semester. We were just getting to know each other when college was canceled due to the coronavirus. We had to go back to our hometowns across the country. We might be apart for the whole summer. I’ve never done a long-distance relationship before, and I find myself getting really uncomfortable. I really like this girl and I would like to see it work, but I find myself fighting the distance part of this. Is there anything I can do to reassure myself? She says that she wants to stay together. What can we do to make this work?
— Feeling Lost
Dear Feeling Lost: You’re now a long-distance corona couple. This is your story. Don’t fight it. Go with what life has given you. Long-distance relationships can be beautiful and loving and bring you closer. You just have to work to be happy while apart. Being happy isn’t a sign of a bad relationship. It’s a sign that you are a happy person at the core. Be creative, be patient and be honest. Communicate. Become a professional listener. Give her permission to feel what she feels. Listen to what she needs. Get the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. I know I recommend this a lot (forgive me), but it’s especially important when dealing with distance for the first time. You need to know how she receives love. She needs to know how you feel loved. Schedule dates where you can spend specific time together. Cook together and have dinner via video chat. Go for walks virtually. Write her a letter. Make her something and send it. Watch movies together. And trust that it will work out. If for any reason it doesn’t, it will be what it was supposed to be. But if you both work to be happy while apart, you will have a better shot at staying together.
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