Dear Harlan: I’m the first one in my family to go to college. I just got my mid-term grades, and I’m failing. I’m not just failing one class; I’m barely passing three classes. If my parents find out, they will kill me. I know why it’s been a struggle for me – it’s because I’m unable to get up for my early classes. I joined a fraternity, and pledging has made it hard to sleep and study. I’m up too late, and I have too much to do. My parents were not supportive of the decision to pledge, and they were right. It’s been a struggle for me to manage my time. Now I’m looking at barely passing, even if I study my butt off. I have no one to talk to about this. I’m starting to panic. Can you help me? — Struggling
Dear Struggling: GO TO CLASS. Going to class is your job. If you don’t go to class, then you will not have a job. You will quickly find yourself living at home. Face the facts: You need to go to class, or you will be back at home. In addition to going to class, you need to get help. The biggest mistake first-year students make is keeping their struggles a secret. Secrets create shame and lead to more problems – not solutions. Want to fix this? Step outside your comfort zone and get help. This is how you grow. Go to class and ask for help from your teachers. Admit that you are having a hard time adjusting to college life. Tell the teachers what your academic goals are, and explain that you will do whatever it takes. Teachers love students who are open, honest and vulnerable. You’ll become their project. In addition, talk to upperclassmen in your fraternity and ask for help with time management, studying and exams. Turn to the academic resource center and find extra help. There is always free tutoring. Contact your academic adviser and share what is happening. Stop going out every night, and focus on yourself. Yes, it’s normal to struggle. But missing classes and not getting help will get you into more trouble. You can fix it, but you have to fix it NOW.
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