Dear Harlan: I’m a first-year college student who has been on campus for four weeks. I feel like people are socializing so much more than me. I have so much homework that I don’t ever have the time. How do I balance schoolwork and socializing? I see friends on Snapchat and Instagram who are having a better time than me. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Is this a normal feeling?
— Failing Socially
Dear Failing Socially: Everyone’s life always looks better on Facebook or through an Instagram filter. This is the problem with living in a “headline culture.” And it’s not just a college thing. We all feel it. Life in the age of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and streaming news about people’s personal lives distorts the truth. There are two realities: There is the one you see on social media, and then there is the one people actually are living. The one on social media is filled with the best angles, happiest moments and amazing times without you. There are victories, hugs, kisses, cars, homes, trips, life moments and a little tragedy and humility sprinkled within. You are getting the highlights without the rest of the story. Do not let this world shape your reality. It’s NOT real. The only thing you know is what you know about your life. And I can promise you with 100 percent certainty that what you are feeling is the norm. Two-thirds of first-year college students admit to feeling lonely, and a third of all students feel so depressed that it’s hard to get their schoolwork done. Read “Madison Holleran’s Friends Share Their Unfiltered Life Stories” on ESPN.com, and you’ll see first-hand accounts of how headlines and reality don’t align. One of Madison’s friends shared a picture of herself smiling with a friend, which is captioned “Although I look like I’m great, everything is falling apart.” The pictures DO NOT tell the story. Studying too much is a good thing. You’re doing it right. Once you figure out how to establish regular study habits, then you can find more balance. Congrats – you are more normal than you possibly can imagine. It’s just not part of the headline culture.
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