Dear Harlan, I have confidence issues. It is really difficult for me to walk up to a female I like because of my disability. It makes me walk with a mild limp, and my muscles in half of my body are constantly tense. I always feel like women will judge me before I even approach them. How should I go about approaching women? – Kid With a Limp
Dear Kid With a Limp, I have big-time confidence issues, too. I’m losing my hair, I struggle with my weight, my ears still stick out, I’m shorter than most men and sometimes my personality can bother people. I constantly beat myself up and question whether I’m good enough. That’s on a bad day. On a good day, I forget that I’m losing my hair, my height and weight don’t matter, my personality makes people light up and my ears separate me from the flat-eared men of the world. The secret? Most days are good days. Turn that limp and tensing into a small part of you – not all of you. The more you focus on your best qualities, the less other people will notice the other qualities. Give women permission to judge you, because you know that you’re interesting, attractive and worth getting to know. Let them see your beautiful smile and hear your kind voice, and listen to them with rapt attention. Play to your strengths. Meet women doing things you love to do. Approach women looking to uncover common interests. Use your strengths to overpower your fears. When you have a bad day, surround yourself with people like me. Find friends who have overcome physical, emotional and social obstacles and have found love. Let the people around you remind you that you’re interesting, attractive and more than good enough. Give it time, and work to be so great at life that you forget about your disability until the love of your life asks you about it after falling in love.
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