Dear Harlan, I don’t have a problem striking up a conversation with a guy I am interested in if we’re in the right social setting. Some people say I have a masculine personality because I am outgoing, confident and take charge. With that being said, what do I do if I see a cute guy in a store or out in public, but am not in his vicinity? I saw this cute, tall guy walk by me at the store the other day. It was a breath of fresh air to see someone I was finally attracted to! But I didn’t want to hunt him down and then stand near him and then try to start a conversation about towels. What do you suggest someone do in this situation? Stalk them down or just let it be? The thought of walking after him and just asking him out does scare me. He’d either be flattered or super creeped out. Plus, it would feel embarrassing if he rejected me in public, and he might be uncomfortable. I do understand the Universal Rejection Truth, but do you have any other advice? – Stalking in the Towel Section
Dear Stalking in the Towel Section, Wrap yourself up in an over-sized towel and say, “Excuse me. Does this fit?” Then watch his fiancee pop out with a scanner gun to add it to her registry. I once started a conversation with a woman in the sponge aisle of the grocery store (cleaning sponge, not contraceptive). The only sponges were in a four-pack — too many for a single man like me. I asked her if she saw a single-pack sponge. Then I asked if she wanted to split the four-pack. She laughed. We chatted. I asked if she wanted to get coffee. She said she would, but she had a boyfriend. I asked if he liked coffee. Then I asked if she was interested in being friends. She said she could always use more friends. I never pursued the friendship. I wanted a girlfriend. The sponge experience was a good one. I had many bad ones too. I never let them stop me. The best meeting was at the UPS Store. I approached a beautiful stranger. I was making copies. She was sending a fax. We connected. A year and half later we were engaged. I didn’t let fear of rejection stop me. Why? I know I’m a good person with good intentions. Are you? Do you believe that everyone you approach is getting the greatest invitation in the world –a chance to participate in your life? If the answer is yes, shift from creepy to curious. Talk to people you find interesting. Be friendly. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Focus less on being wanted and more on what you want. Turn your fear of rejection into a fear of allowing someone to miss out on the chance of a lifetime – a chance to meet you.