Dear Harlan: I’ve recently started a relationship with a new guy. I’m very attracted to him, but don’t want to ruin what we have by sleeping together too soon. How long should I wait to have sex with a guy and still have him respect me?
Waiting Game
Dear Waiting: Let’s flip this question around – it should be, “How long should I wait to have sex with a guy and still respect him?” The problem with your original question is that you’re making it all about him. You’re giving him all the power. And really, it’s an impossible answer. The only part you can control is how you feel. The way to know how you feel is to get to know him. See how he treats the women in his life (past and present). Spend lots of time with him during daylight hours. Talk to him and understand what sex means to him before having it. You can sleep together right away and still be respected – but you might not respect him. Make this about what you want and what feels right for you. The longer you wait, the more you’ll get to know him. The more you get to know him, the easier it will be to know if you’ll respect him in the morning.
So eloquent! I knew you would know the right way to answer a very important question. It is on everyone’s mind but were afraid to ask.
Thank you!